Today I was reading the article “Choose One” and it really got me thinking. On facebook, as well as almost all other social networking sites, assumptions are mad regarding sexuality and gender. The only options that you can be “interested in” are male and female. You can pick one, or both. What about neither? What about ALL genders? The gender options are limited to female and male, and you HAVE to select one. As Max Wilcox says, “I see no need for Facebook to know what is in my pants, but that’s what they ask everyone that signs up.” The world around us is increasingly accepting of a spectrum of sexual orientations and gender identities, but Facebook is still sticking to outdated, problematic paradigms (Rutherford.) Its not only facebook, but applications, tests, and almost anything else you have to fill out. It has always made me uncomfortable seeing the two boxes, and having to choose one. I always wonder, why does it even matter? Why do they want to know? I know people who have restrained from getting ID’s and Driver’s licenses because of the gender factor they face when they do so. For some people, this issue might not affect them at all, but for others it is very emotionally stressful. It is just a reminder of how hetero and gender normative the majority of our society is, disregarding all other identities. I think this is something EVERYONE should care about. Just because you are cisgender and it doesn’t matter to you, this problem affects thousands of others on a daily basis. There is a quote on the Geurilla Feminism page that I think relates to this. “I support safe spaces. Because America is already a safe space for white, cisgender, middle class, heterosexual males, and I don’t fit under all those catergories. Because we may have a black president, but we are not post racism. Because you may have a Gay best friend, we are not post-Homophobia. Because everyone may be created equal, but that doesn’t mean everyone is treated equally. Because privilege exists. Ignoring the fact makes you part of the problem, not part of the solution.” This is a reminder that being an ally isn’t about comparing your oppression with my oppression, its not about comparing who has it harder. Just because you have been opressed, that doesn’t make you any less responsible for the marginalizationof others. We need to work together, because being an ally is about caring about the issues that affect us, and the ones that don’t, to. What do you think about this? Have you ever thought about gender and sexuality regarding social networking sites? Comment below and let me know!
When I saw this, I was outraged. I don’t know if this is serious, or a joke, but either way I find it extremely sexist, misogynist, and offensive. It suggests that men should be able to control women, which is just straight up sexist. It reinforces the stereotype that women are in a bad mood when they are on their period. HELLO?! EVERYONE is in a bad mood sometimes, so whats with the “turn off” PMS button? I think that the worst are the buttons stop “whining, nagging, and moaning”. This also reinforces the stereotype that women are whiny and that we don’t have the right to assert ourselves. If we ever have a complaint, we are “whining”. I also hate the give me “beer, sex, food.” This doesn’t only make women look bad, but it makes men look bad to. It ALSO reinforces the belief that all men are sexist assholes who want control over a woman. Gender and heteronormative, much? This remote reinforces RAPE CULTURE by having the buttons “say yes, say no, give me sex.” It makes it seem as if women should adapt to mens needs when it comes to sexuality. We can make our OWN choices regarding our sexuality and our bodies. “Cook, clean, leave”. Gender roles? I think so. This whole thing is very stereotypical and sexist and i hate it!
Photo from Google Images!
What do you think about this? Comment below and let me know!
These are tips I am giving because of personal experience I have had coming out to various people in my life, so I hope it is helpful to some of you. If not, that’s okay to, because everyone’s process is different, but these are some things that worked for me, and hopefully they will work for you to! Some of you may not know what “Coming out” is. Coming out is a process without a distinct ending in which a person gradually becomes aware of, claims, and develops their identity as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or basically anything that is not cisgender or heterosexual. To me, coming out is letting the people around you aware of your identity. Since I have been “Out” or openly lesbian for about 2 or 3 years, I have some experience with this. Here are some tips on Coming Out:
Don’t do it until your ready!- If you come out before you are comfortable with yourself and your identity, it will be harder for others to accept it. Don’t feel like you have to tell anyone until your ready to.
Be confident! – If you are confident with your sexuality, it is more likely that others will be okay with it.
Be casual- If you don’t want to, you don’t have to necessarily make it a big deal. In my experience, when I’m casual about it and just say “yep, im gay” people are more casual about it as well and its no big deal.
Don’t take it to heart– If you have a family member or friend that doesn’t accept your gender identity or sexual orientation, don’t take it personally. Remember that some people need time to adjust to it, and give them space. It is in no way your fault.
Have a plan! – If you think that your family might freak out, or kick you out of the house, have a back- up plan! Have a support system! Friends you can call, or even stay with are helpful to have in this kind of situation.
In the past few years, these are some things I have found helpful with “Coming Out” to everyone in my life. The longer you are open with your sexuality, the easier it gets to let people know. Remember, if someone else doesn’t accept it at first, don’t take it personally, they just need time! Comment below with YOUR coming out story, or tips that you have found helpful with coming out! Thanks (:
On new years eve, two men walking out of the wildcat who were suspected of being gay were attacked violentley by three white males, all with shaved heads. The Santa Barbara Police Department says that one victim ended up with a broken jaw and a head injury. With the information collected so far, it appears that the two men were attacked BECAUSE they were perceived as gay. The suspects muttered a homophobic slur during the attack. Crimes like this are called hate crimes, and they are horrible in every way (or any crime, for that matter.) Hates crimes will NOT be tolerated in our community. It is so upsetting to hear about something like this taking place. Out of all places, Santa Barbara doesn’t seem to be a place where an event like this would occur, but it did, and we need to do something about it! If you have ANY information, contact Detective Claytor at (805) 897-2346 for a reward of $ 7500. This is not the only way you can help, though! Be an ally to members of the LGBTQQA (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, asexual) community. Educate your friends! A lot of people might think “I’m straight and cisgender, it doesn’t affect me, so it doesn’t matter”. But think about it. How would you feel if you were discriminated against, put down, and in this case, even ATTACKED, for something that is beyond your control. This is not just an issue of what happened on new years eve, but an issue of ignorance and homophobia. Homophobia is ingrained into our society. Growing up, most of learn that being with the opposite sex is whats “normal” and “right”. Even if we aren’t directly taught these things, we see it everywhere in the media. Something to think about is: If all sexualities and gender identities were shown in the media, would it still seem “different” to you? Don’t let yourself get brainwashed. Don’t agree with what everyone else thinks because its easier. Have your own voice. Is there really anything wrong with two people loving eachother? Do you think anyone really need to be put down for that? Next time you hear someone say something homophobic, think about that. If we all learn how to be accepting and caring towards one another, we can make our community stronger, and prevent crimes like this from happening!