Love yourself.. but which parts?

A lot of people say “you should love yourself” and “you should love who you are”. When people say this, are they referring to our looks, our personality, or both? When people talk about self-acceptance, I usually think about body image and confidence. However, lately I have been seeing things in a new light. Sometimes we forget to accept ALL parts of ourselves because we don’t find it as important. I hear people say things such as “I don’t hate myself, I just have a really big nose”. Saying things like this is doing the opposite of practicing radical self love. I saw this photo on the facebook page A girls guide to taking over the world, and it got me thinking.

This photo emphasizes accepting and appreciating ALL parts of our bodies! Parts of my bodies I never even thought about! But they DO deserve the same acceptance and appreciation.

I also came across this Laci Green video about boobs:

watch?v=WsV7NN3nUqM

Laci talks about how our media has a warped perception about how boobs should look. There to big, there to small. To saggy, to perky. There not the right color. Our nipples are to big or to small, etc. The porn industry specifically as a set idea of how boobs are supposed to look. All boobs are different! This is something I never even thought about, but that part us female-bodied people is just as important to accept!

I also came across this photo on the page, The body is not an apology.

This photo is about accepting your Labia! (If you have one)!

These are things I have never even put much thought into, although I have felt self-concious about these parts of my body, it never seemed to matter.

I am realizing that it DOES matter and there isn’t one right way for our bodies to look!

What do you think? Comment below and let me know!

 

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How to make sure your relationship is healthy!

Sometimes when we get wrapped up in relationships, we no longer can rationally decide if it is healthy or not. Having a pre-made list of things you MUST have in a relationships, and things you will NOT have in a relationship can help you come back to reality when you check in with yourself and realize that your relationship is not healthy!

Statistics and my Ananlysis of Them

I received these statistics at a group I attend called “Building Healthy Relationships.” The statistics are from the “What is LOVE” Domestic Violence Solutions.

1. 70% of pregnant and parenting teens nationwide expirience dating violence.

My analysis:

  • The abusive partner believes that they can get away with abuse since they are in the process, or are already raising a child with their significant other.
  • Having a child is causing stress and anger.

2. 1 in 6 women have expirienced an attempted or completed rape.

My analysis:

  • Rape can be caused by insitutional tolerance.
  • Misogny and sexism.
  • Internalized misogny and patriarchy.
  • Patriachal society in general ( when referring to hererosexual relationships.)
  • The rapist wants power.
  • They are doing it to make themselves feel better.

3. 33% of men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.

My analysis:

  • Maybe less men are raped than women because of gender roles, women are expected to be “weak and submissive.”
  • Men don’t report rape as often because of pride or embarassment.

4. 30% of teens have said that their partner had contacted them via cell phone or text messages to constantly check in on them, harass, or ask them to engage in sexual activity.

My analysis:

  • It is common for someone who is insecure to worry about their partner, but sometimes people take it a bit to far with the obsessive social engagement.
  • It is easier to harass someone via internet/phone.

5. 50% of people who have been raped have also attempted suicide.

My analysis:

  • Sexual abuse makes people feel extremley insecure and it can lead to self-hate.
  • People who have been raped are more likely to feel depressed and worthless.
  • They felt like the rape was their fault.
  • They couldn’t bare the pain of remembering what happened.

6. 57% of teens of teens have known sexually, verbally, or physically abused in a relationship.

My analysis:

  • Many teens experience abusive relationships/dating violence because they don’t realize what it is happening to them in the moment.
  • Many teens don’t realize what is deserved in a healthy relationship.

7. 25 to 33% of LGBT relationships are abusive, which is about the same as heterosexual relationships.

My analysis:

  • Abuse can happen in ANY kind of relationship, it doesn’t have to be a relationship between a girl and a guy.

I found these statistics shocking, and extremely sad. What do you think about them? Were you surpised? Comment below and let me know!

$ 7500 REWARD

On new years eve, two men walking out of the wildcat who were suspected of being gay were attacked violentley by three white males, all with shaved heads. The Santa Barbara Police Department says that one victim ended up with a broken jaw and a head injury. With the information collected so far, it appears that the two men were attacked BECAUSE they were perceived as gay. The suspects muttered a homophobic slur during the attack. Crimes like this are called hate crimes, and they are horrible in every way (or any crime, for that matter.) Hates crimes will NOT be tolerated in our community. It is so upsetting to hear about something like this taking place. Out of all places, Santa Barbara doesn’t seem to be a place where an event like this would occur, but it did, and we need to do something about it! If you have ANY information, contact Detective Claytor at (805) 897-2346 for a reward of $ 7500. This is not the only way you can help, though! Be an ally to members of the LGBTQQA (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, asexual) community. Educate your friends! A lot of people might think “I’m straight and cisgender, it doesn’t affect me, so it doesn’t matter”. But think about it. How would you feel if you were discriminated against, put down, and in this case, even ATTACKED, for something that is beyond your control. This is not just an issue of what happened on new years eve, but an issue of ignorance and homophobia. Homophobia is ingrained into our society. Growing up, most of learn that being with the opposite sex is whats “normal” and “right”. Even if we aren’t directly taught these things, we see it everywhere in the media. Something to think about is: If all sexualities and gender identities were shown in the media, would it still seem “different” to you? Don’t let yourself get brainwashed. Don’t agree with what everyone else thinks because its easier. Have your own voice. Is there really anything wrong with two people loving eachother? Do you think anyone really need to be put down for that? Next time you hear someone say something homophobic, think about that. If we all learn how to be accepting and caring towards one another, we can make our community stronger, and prevent crimes like this from happening!